New Blog

My new blog is...

http://soulofsweetsimplicity.blogspot.com/

(:

Love you all!

Hey everyone.
It's been a long time.
I'm going to be shutting this blog down...
but I'm working on a new one. This blog will remain up as it has some fond memories and when I get my new blog up and running I will post an update with that.
Other than that... it's been real, it's been fun ;)

-Samantha

Quick Update

I just wanted to let you all know that I AM alive, despite what you may think. I'm working at a camp on the Oregon Coast this summer called Twin Rocks Friends Camp and it takes up all of my time (mostly... and the rest is spent hanging out with my new friends (:) I feel very blessed to be here and God has been doing so much in my heart and my life. I'm recognizing and naming a lot of hurts that I have and the healing process is beginning.

I did my first week of counseling this past week and it was the most exhausting but rewarding week here so far. Tomorrow I will start with a new group and I'm very much looking forward to that.

I miss you all and wish that I had more time to keep up. But come September I will be back, full of stories, and ready to catch up with all of you.

Prayers and Love,
Samantha

Dude.

Can I just tell you how excited I am that school ends in a week for me?

WAY TOO EXCITED.

Focus Samantha, FOCUS!

Oh Children (:

7 year-old: I have a question I need to ask you. *Sounding ever so serious mind you...*
Me: Yes?
7 year-old: How old are you?
Me: Oh, I'm 19.
7 year-old: Wow!


Thanks to that little girl I now feel older beyond my years :) Children are the greatest!

Vulnerability

I have had the deep privilege to join the woman's Bible study at my church. And what I mean by privilege is that I feel so blessed by God to have these women in my life now. I am the youngest in attendance, and I would put the oldest at 60 or so. We have such a wide range of ages, experiences, backgrounds, occupations, marital statuses, etc. We do not always agree, we have fallen short of perfection (far short of perfection.) We are all wise in our own ways and all foolish in our own multiple ways. We pray together, cry together, learn together, and love. Mind you, I've only been attending this study for three weeks now.

I am privileged because this is one of the few groups of Christians that I've met that have been willing to be so vulnerable so quickly. I appreciate so deeply when people are willing to open up deep parts of their souls and hearts and share that with others. It is an encouragement and an honor to have someone be so honest with you about their life. I know more about these women in three weeks than I know about some people that I've encountered MANY times over the past year(s).

Vulnerability is beautiful.
The tears of the wounded are painstakingly wonderful.
The worries, stresses, and groans of everyday life are real.
The praises of the trusting are undeniably encouraging.
The love of Christ that I see in each woman and the image of Christ found in each woman's eyes is so raw and lovely.

The Church gains nothing by trying to come off as "perfect." We as Christians do not grow when we do not admit our imperfections, our wrong-doings, our boo-boos. People who encounter Christians do not want to hear about how we have it all together and how loving and open we are. They know how hypocritical we are being when we say these things. They want honesty and vulnerability. They don't need our fake "perfection." They need to see Jesus. And I think Jesus is found amongst our imperfections, wrong-doings, and boo-boos because that's when grace shines through.

I love encountering the Lord in the Bible. I love encountering Him in my prayers. I love encountering Him in the beauty of creation outside. And I truly love encountering Jesus in people, we carry a light. How are we to shine our light if we keep putting band-aids over those lovely cracks that ooze out our vulnerability? We can't.

So let's reach out, let's love, let's be imperfect. Let us be vulnerable, confess our sins, humble ourselves before others, and apologize. Cry, laugh, scream. Bask in the imperfect perfection of being whole in Christ (because it IS an oxymoron... and also an amazing truth.) Be real and be honest. Let us be followers of JESUS, not followers of a world striving so hard to gain nothing worth gaining.

I pray for you that you may encounter the deep privilege of vulnerability in your life today, tomorrow, this week, this month, this year, this decade, this century. Enjoy it (:

Hello Beautiful

Hello Beautiful...
Beautiful people
Beautiful weather
Beautiful flowers
Beautiful skies
Beautiful nights
Beautiful days
Beautiful laughter
Beautiful smiles
Beautiful conversations
Beautiful hearts
Beautiful books
Beautiful memories
Beautiful prayers
Beautiful times spent together
Beautiful sweat
Beautiful three point five weeks of school left
and
most
importantly...
Hello to my BEAUTIFUL GOD who created and allows all of these things to be (: I think You're greater than any, all, and more of these beautiful things put into one big pot. Thank you Lord for life. Even in the hard times I find beauty because You're there too.
<3

You are GREAT!

Indeed.

Happy Easter.

Jesus is risen, He is risen indeed.
The above words have fallen around me all day and it's been beautiful to hear. The weather has been cooperating today, lots of sun and a warm 60 degrees. It makes this day of celebration even better when you can wear pretty dresses and bask in the Son outside ;)

Today in church instead of taking communion we were invited up to step into a bath of water and soak our feet as a remembrance of our baptisms (or if we weren't yet baptized we were invited to be baptized today.) It was a beautiful thing to remember my own baptism and to remember what it really means to be baptized. Christ IS the resurrection, we are living TODAY, in the here and now, VICTORIOUS because of the fact that He conquered the grave.

So, shine your light and let the whole world see, that we're singing for the glory of the RISEN KING.

Love in Christ,
Samantha

Alive.

I am alive, just wanted to let you all know.
Very busy.
Will update soon.
And hopefully comment your lovely blogs over the next few days.

Love.

Hello Spring Break

Hello Spring Break,

You are my new, yet very old friend. I'm not quite sure why we go so long without seeing one another. But each time we get together I feel refreshed and overjoyed. It's like you are a comfort friend, one who lets me rest, laugh, cry, play, go crazy, be sane, anything that I need you let me do it. Sometimes we spend our time together in warm areas, sometimes cold, sometimes rainy. Thus far we've seen a lot of rain. We always enjoy time with family and friends. The time we spend together seems to be busy. For instance we've already gone to two concerts, seen some friends, and spent a lot of time with my parents. And the rest of this week is only going to get busier!

Thank you for the time we are spending together. I hope I can appreciate and enjoy your company while it lasts.

Love,
Samantha

Today.

Today I'm feeling better, although my voice is gone somewhat.
Today I'm sad.
Today I'm peaceful.
Today I don't know what to do.
Today I'm ashamed.
Today is beautiful outside.
Today I am wearing flip-flops.
Today I had only one class and it lasted only 15 minutes.
Today my mom gave me good insight.
Today I'm still waiting.
Today I ate.
Today I drank. (Water and apple juice)
Today I wrote and sent letters.
Today I'm breathing.
Today I'll be thankful, even if things don't go my way.
Today I know God is in charge and His will is being done, but that doesn't mean I can't be sad.
Today.

Land of the Dead

I'm coming to you from the Land of the Dead. Almost, no... not really. But I haven't been so sick since I was a wee little tyke. Saturday we went out of town as planned and had a good and jolly God-inspired weekend (I make it sound so trivial, it REALLY WAS AMAZING!) Sunday we packed up, hung out around in beautiful McCall for awhile and drove back to Boise. On the drive back I started feeling worse and worse. I mean, I had a little cold, but my energy was DRAINING. And my nose was getting worse, my throat was feeling awful. My limbs started getting sore and I was freezing. So we got back, my friend Rachelle took me to the store to buy some chicken (I crave it when I'm sick...) Jo-Jo's, juice, tissues, and some cold medicine. Then I plundered into the depths of my dorm and really haven't emerged since. I left Monday for to turn in an essay and then dinner. Tuesday I left for a meeting with my pastor's wife, lunch, and dinner. Today I finally went to my classes, but then immediately came back and crashed. I haven't had such a lack of energy/NEED to sleep for years. Honestly, Sunday night I slept from 6:00 pm to 5:30 am, and then Monday pretty much all day and then Monday 8:00pm to 4:30am. Then good chunks of Tuesday. I wish I slept that well all the time!! So I basically had a fever Sunday and Monday and it broke sometime Monday night, now I'm just left with a crazy cough, head congestion, sore throat, somewhat achy body, and no energy :)

Anywho.

I feel myself slipping back into the fuzzy world of nothingness, but I just wanted to let you all know I am not quite dead yet, but bordering upon it ;)
Reading your blogs and commenting as I can!

Blessings and Love,
Samantha

The weather again?!

It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood, a wonderful day in the neighborhood. Aw man, do I miss Mr. Rogers and the fact that it was once cool to watch that show. Okay, so really I just miss being little, whatevs.

Today is beautiful, albeit a bit chilly. (Again with that weather thing.) I think I talk about it so much because it has such an effect on me and my well-being. Am I the only one with this issue? Seriously though, if it snows ONE MORE TIME, I will cry. Maybe. Seriously. Okay, so I won't... but Sami needs her spring!

Wednesday I put together my small group's study for Saturday (by the way I just realized how much I love leading small group :) and we are going through the third and fourth chapters of Colossians. Everything was so fitting for my life right now. God has a way of getting my attention when I take time to ponder His word, go figure. The verses that have been focusing me since Wednesday have been Colossians 3: 14-17. They are wonderful COMMANDS that I've been avoiding doing. No wonder my life has been a twisty darkness of twisty dark things. Let me share with you what it says...
"Beyond all these things put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body, and be thankful. Let the word of Christ richly dwell within you, with all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another with psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with thankfulness in your hearts to God. Whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus giving thanks through Him to God the Father." (Emphasis mine, NASB version)

It seems so poignant to me that the peace of Christ should RULE in my heart and the word of Christ should RICHLY DWELL within me. Those are not passive verbs. Those are verbs that call for action. I've been realizing lately how important it is for daily time with the Father, especially daily time in the morning. I'm going to be better about spending time with God before starting the hustle and bustle of my day. That way the peace of Christ will rule in my heart and His words will richly dwell within me throughout the day.

I haven't been so excited about scripture in months! (Which I'm sure my sporadic and super quick reading of the Bible hasn't been helpful in my lack of desire for the Word.) I'm really looking forward to spending more time in the Word and focusing my thoughts toward things above and not below. (Also from Colossians :D)

In other news...
Tonight I'm baby-sitting for a few hours then going to a game night. Tomorrow morning is small group and then going to a McCall for a retreat with Impact. Should be a good weekend. I'm excited to spend time in God's presence out in nature :)

Blessings and Love,
Samantha

The Urge

I've been feeling the urge to type up a new blog post.

So what do people talk about when they have nothing to say (or have stuff they want to say but can't... (which one do you think I am [if you are guessing the latter you are probably correct] let me know!)) :D

People talk about the weather!!
So.

Where I am it's been a wonderfully odd mixture of sun, clouds, warmth, and rain. Apparently soon it might be snowing.
How's the weather in your neck of the woods? (:

Seriously.
You should tell me ;)

AND.
If you are a lurker and I do not yet know you, drop me a line and let me know about the weather in your parts. I'd love to meet you (:

Blessings and Love,
Samantha

My week.

This week has been an interesting one. It's been the laziest, most productive week. Spiritually dead and spiritually alive. Moving no where, going backward, dancing forward. Freezing cold and quite warm. Doubts and assurances. A defining moment was when I woke up Wednesday and said to myself "It's already Wednesday." When the previous night I had gone to bed and thought to myself, "It's only Tuesday." Definitely a week of oxymoron's.

It was beautiful, painful, insightful. A growing week. I've been learning I'm not so independent. Not so certain about where I'm going. Not so certain about God's calling on my life. Not so certain about how horrible things are. Not so certain about how wonderful things are.

Life is meant to be reflected upon, if we rush through it we'll miss the mystery and majesty of God's creation.

I practice Lent every year (well for the past three years and this one) and this year I decided to do Ash Wednesday the way Catholics do it. I fasted that day and went to Catholic Mass. It was absolutely beautiful. I know that it can be tough for some to understand the rituals, even I had a bad preconceived notion about what I was getting myself into. I'm so glad I went, I truly enjoyed it and walked away knowing that God's presence had been there.

The Catholic church is rich with history. It was the church for 100s of years. I know that this doesn't mean it hasn't had its share of scandals, hurts, theological mishaps, etc. but what church doesn't have these problems? For me, to be sitting, standing, and kneeling at the right time, to be saying the words at the right time, to be bowing and praying at the right time, it was peaceful. It was a joy to think of the millions of others who had/were/will partake in a mass similar to the one I was enjoying. It was a privilege to be part of a service filled with so much history, tradition, and love. I can't put to words the beauty of that service. I felt whole and one with God.

And so I received the ashes upon my head and let the words flow around me, "Remember o woman, you are but dust, and to dust you shall return." I was reminded how very small I am in this expansive universe, and I was so very thankful for my life and for my Savior. God did not have to create me, but He did. My Father did not need me, but He breathed life into me anyway. He does not need my presence in Heaven, but He sent His Son to die for me. This is solemnly exciting. And as I continue these next forty days of Lent I look forward to learning more about the Creator, and the love that sent a Son... a beautiful, perfect, whole Son, down to this earth to die for me, you, and billions of others.

Truly, whether Catholic, Protestant, Lutheran, Baptist, Non-Denominational, I think we can all agree this Lent season is about Jesus, and that's something we can cherish.

Much more happened this week, but I think the power of Wednesday was the highlight, so I'll leave you with that little morsel of a bigger meal :)

Blessings and Love,

Friday Fun

I got this from Jessica at Literary Pursuits :)


Here is what you do...Erase my answers and put yours in. Use the first letter of your name to answer ALL of the following questions. If the person before you has the same 1st letter pick a new one. You CAN NOT use anything twice, and you CAN NOT use your own name for the boy/girl question. After you are done, tag 5 people.......

1. What is your name: Samantha

2. A four letter word: star

3. A boy's name: Sage

4. A girl's name: Sarah

5. An occupation: Shoemaker

6. A color: Umm... sand :D

7. Something you wear: Sandals!

8. A food: Sandwiches

9. Something found in the bathroom: soap

10. A place: Seattle :)

11. A reason for being late: Slept-in

12. Something you shout: you know it makes you wanna... SHOUT! throw your hands up and SHOUT! (Cheating perhaps?)

13. A movie title: Sandlot

14. Something you drink: Sweet tea

15. An animal: Seal

16. A song title: "She Walked Away" Barlow Girl

17. A verb: Sing! :D

And, I'll also tag anyone who wants to do this! :)

Still.

I'm taking a Spiritual Disciplines class at the Biblical Studies Center. I've been looking forward to this class since I first heard my campus minister was going to teach it way back in November. Thus far, the class has not failed to meet my expectations and exceed them.

This week's readings have been centered around Silence and Solitude. Two things lately that I've been trying to avoid. I often associate solitude with being lonely, and quite frankly my generation does not do silence. Period. Always we have music, tv, friends, something going on in the background. Being lonely lately has been an unbearable feeling for me, so I try to avoid it. So, I've not been practicing silence or solitude.

I used to think of myself as a pretty silent person. And I usally always enjoy my alone time. But as I've been reading chapters from The Sacred Way and Celebration of Discipline I've realized that my alone time has always been mine. The difference concerning solitude, is that solitude is focused on God. It's being silent in His presence. It's being "alone" in His presence. I think I wouldn't need so much "alone time" if I simply spent more focused time in solitude with my Lord and Savior. And I wouldn't fear my "alone time" if I choose to realize I am not alone.

This past weekend I was able to do pretty much nothing. Something that I have not done since being back in Boise. I had a couple of baby-sitting jobs, church ministry, and I was house-sitting, but most of my time was spent relaxing. I'm so thankful that the family I was house and pet sitting for left town. :) I watched movies, hung out with my friend Rachelle, watched old TV shows, read, journaled, ate, slept, it was glorious.

Yet, even after this restful weekend I felt unsettled. As I returned to my dorm late last night and carried on a conversation with my friend Casey May and caught her up on some things in my life that have been making me anxious I realized something... I have not been still in front of God. We are commanded to be still and know that He is God. Why do I not do this? Why do I not follow a COMMAND from the Lord of all Creation? It seems pretty silly to me. And it proves to me that we need to do this. Despite my weekend of doing nothing, I was still anxious at the end of it. I firmly believe if I had spent much of my weekend before the Lord in silence, I would not have been anxious.

This morning has been an awakening in my soul. I feel that even though it's been snowing outside, spring is frolicking in my heart. I'm feeling still in my heart, which brings much peace. Today, my goal is to listen for my Lord. I'm going to stop talking and be silent. I'm going to practice what I've been learning, and what I've been commanded to do.

Last night, on my facebook status I wrote that "I will no longer be living passively (at least for this week...) " So, I'm not. I'm not just going to read about the Disciplines and think to myself how nice they sound, I'm going to practice them. I'm not just going to complain that my small group isn't meeting, I'm going to take charge and set a day and time for us to meet. I'm not just going to worry about the homework that I have to do... I'm going to actually do it.

And even though practicing silence and solitude may seem like a passive activity, I know it will require much on my part to actually do this. I pray that you will get to be still in front of the Lord of all creation this week my dear friends. Rest in His arms. The arms that created you are also big enough to hold you.

Love and Blessings,
Samantha Marie

Happy Valentine's Day

To you and yours I hope you have a wonderful holiday. Remember Who is your True Significant Other today, remember whose Bride you are. Spend some time with Jesus, bask in the perfect love of the Lord.

<3

And then take major delight in the people He has placed around you. Not all Valentines have to be "romantic" love interests. ;)

Enjoy this day all you beautiful people!
Love,
Samantha

Can you say 100?!?!

Wow. I've made it to 100 posts. Which actually doesn't seem like a lot when you consider that I've been on blogger for almost a whole year now. Oh well, it is still quite a milestone and it excites me none-the-less.

I wasn't exactly sure what this post would be comprised of. There is obviously many different subjects I could talk about. But mostly, I just want to dedicate this posting time to my blogging buddies, old and new, those that have been there from the start and those that have just started reading. You have no idea how much you bless me in your comments, posts, and prayers. It's been such a wonderful thing getting to know different young ladies and amazing mature women of faith. Your stories, entirely different from one another each inspire and encourage me in different ways. So thank you for your friendship, technology is amazing fun :)

May God bless you today and always, and no matter what form those blessings make take, recognize that we serve a sovereign Lord and He can make good come from anything, He loves us dearly and always and perfectly, and Jesus died and resurrected for all. Remember to accept those gifts of love and redemption into your life daily dear sisters.

I'm excited to continue our journey of life, very much apart, but yet unified in our words that we type and of course the amazing God we serve.

Love,
Samantha

Post 99

I did this for facebook, and thought I would share it here too :)

25 Random Things About Me!

Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.

1.) I'm really bad at describing myself. I like to think it's because I'm mysterious and hard-to-know. I also like to think it's because I have so much to discover about myself. Really, I think I just don't know how to describe myself because I'm afraid to take a look at myself.
2.) I recently realized that I have a passion for teenagers and youth in general. I really hope to start helping with a youth group somewhere and am eagerly awaiting to see if I get to work at a summer camp, part of the time I would be counseling youth.
3.) I don't like music as much as most people. A lot of people can't function without it... I can. I appreciate the beauty of lyrics, but I'd rather just read the lyrics than listen to someone sing them, I'm definitely more of a reader than an auditory person.
4.) I want to try out for American Idol. And I think April, Rachelle, Kate(?!), and I are going to do it. For fun. Although April could totally make it (: We are potentially going to dress insane or act really weird so we can get through to meet the Randy, Simon, Paula, Cara quartet :D
5.) I love email. I love letters. I love texting. I love any written form of communication. Probably far more than if I'm expected to talk. I respond better if I'm writing and have time to form a response. Talking is good, but writing I love. :)
6.) Learning is a favorite of mine. College has been amazing, so much of my learning is self-paced. I really get out what I put into it. Plus I just love the image of sipping some kind of fancy coffee with a textbook plopped open on my lap while I eagerly respond and take notes on my laptop. It makes me feel so... "mature." (:
7.) I always want to be young at heart. I love children and I am so thankful that I baby-sit for a job. Children have an insane amount of energy, and while they may wear me out I really appreciate the fact that they make me realize so much of what I worry about is inconsequential. Who needs to worry about the future when right now, you can pretend you are a chipmunk?
8.) I'm reallllly bad at calling people back and answering the phone. I don't know why. Probably because I'm a better communicator in person. Or in writing. But there are other times when I LOVE phone conversations and will talk for hours on the phone. Depends on my mood.
9.) Some of my favorite memories involve driving around with different people. Just driving. Listening to music and breathing. No words necessary. That shows some serious comfortableness.
10.) I really don't think some people understand my passion for Jesus. God is truly the only thing that matters to me in this world, and from my love from Him I love and have relationships with other people, but aside from Him I'm nothing and my relationships seem meaningless. I can come on strong as the goody-goody Christian girl, and that's okay with me. If people can see my love and passion for Jesus then that means for the most part I'm living in a right relationship with the Lord.
11.) I'm a major procrastinator, but not as bad this semester as I have been. :) I think it's mostly because I would rather hang out with people and develop relationships instead of write a five to six page paper, but all things are important in their own way.
12.) I love to run, perhaps you are laughing to yourself since I am on the bigger side. But seriously, running and me, we are buds. I love losing myself in the pounding of my feet against the pavement or the treadmill. I love especially running outside. During those moments I feel so connected with God and His creation. It's beautiful outside.
13.) I went rafting for the first time back in September. It was one of the best moments of my life. I had the best time, and I went with an amazing group of people, whom I miss dearly for the fellowship and friendship.
14.) I'm deeply relational and it hurts me when people don't pursue me. The worst thing is for me to feel like an outsider and to feel alone. Which is how I've been feeling lately. I'm not saying this in an "oh pity me" way. I think I'm experiencing these feelings of loneliness and separation for a God reason so I'm okay with it. I just hope eventually this changes. But for the moment I'm going to pursue my relationship with God.
15.) I've had a divine appointment before. It was... amazing. God does lead you where He needs you to be at the right time. If you choose to listen to His voice you will be rewarded, and His seeds will be planted.
16.) I love Christian music of any genre. I don't really like mainstream music anymore. The lyrics make me really uncomfortable, and the not so naughty songs always talk about love. Considering I don't have a boyfriend and am not really interested in love in that way those songs just seem silly to me for the moment.
17.) I recently started watching Heroes. I really like the show. It talks about God and science in the same sentence and I appreciate that. Plus there is little to no nudity, few curse words, it's action-packed, crazy, funny, and dramatic. My kind of show :)
18.) Fruit is one of God's most flavorful creations. I really appreciate fruit, it's probably my favorite food group. I'd rather eat cantaloupe or bananas or kiwis or honeydew over cookies, cake, or chocolate. Seriously.
19.) I enjoy writing.
20.) I have a couple of amazing mentors in Boise. One I meet with weekly and one I talk to whenever we both have a chance. They are amazing women of God and I so appreciate their inward and outward beauty, wisdom, love for the Lord and those around them, and honesty.
21.) Laughing, hugging, screaming, and dancing are some of the best endorphins ever.
22.) 21 is my favorite number.
23.) I love talking about God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit, the Bible, theology, the world, sin, redemption, love in Christ, what God is doing in people's lives, etc. It's amazing. I have yet to be bored with these conversations. I hope to talk about God everyday of my life.
24.) I'm currently writing an essay on the Sixties. It's interesting. Well, at least I hope it is.
25.) It took me quite awhile to get to 25, but now that I'm here I can think of so many more things that I'd love to tell you. About how I went to Europe, I broke my arm three times, I love my parents more now than ever before. About how Impact with Synergy is one of the best things that could have happened to me while in Boise. About the amazing people I've been honored to meet and know throughout my life. About how so many of my best friends live in completely different states now. I have a story and I love it (: thanks for letting me share a bit of it with you.

I tag anyone who wants to do this!! (:

Happy February

It is indeed February. And I am indeed tired of this cold winter weather. Although, I will grudgingly admit that it has been warmer the past week or so (30s/40s) and the sun has mostly been shining, so I really shouldn't complain.

Life has been busy, as you can probably tell from my lack of posting. But also, the internet has not been working in my dorm room, so the only time I was able to get on was if I went to the library or the Biblical Studies Center, and let's just admit that little jaunt is not always worth the cold that I could catch from being outside ;)

Anywho, today I was able to slow down, and my internet is once again working, double yay! I'm quite exhausted and have much homework and studying to do though.

I have stuff to say, but my brain is too tired at the moment, so perhaps a more witty and thought-provoking post will come soon. But for now, I'm alive and I've commented on many blogs and that's what matters :D

Much love,
Samantha

Flying Pie

Yesterday I had the most wonderful experience at Flying Pie Pizzaria. It is a scrumptious pizza place locally owned and operated only in the Boise Valley. Never had I been there before, but after passing it multiple times as I drive around the city and especially after hearing the company closed down for a week and took their employees to Costa Rica I just had to try it out.
So, after a long day of thrift shopping with Rachelle and Kate we decided to go in for dinner. It was absolutely fantastic. The ambiance is quite fun, the employees crazy (in a very good way), and the pizza is absolutely delicious. Seriously, the best I've ever had.
We got a small pizza, breadsticks, and three drinks for less than $15! For five dollars a person I really can't complain about anything. It's one of those weird, eclectic restaurants that everyone loves. If you are ever in the Treasure Valley be sure to check it out! :) I'll even go with you if you need some company.

Flying Pie Website

In other news... life has been busy as per my usual. I've enjoyed a few quiet moments this weekend, but not nearly as much as when I was home, being a coach potato in Lewiston ;) The past week has been full of new and interesting classes, seeing my friends again, going to my beloved Impact, baby-sitting some of my favorite kids in the world, laughing a lot with new and older friends, watching The Curious Case of Benjamin Button with my campus minister and his family, staying caught up on classes, attending meetings, etc.
Tonight I am going to a leadership meeting for Impact and then journeying on to church at Calvary Chapel with my friend Chantel. Should be a lovely Sunday night.

I have a few things on my heart that I hope to develop into a post soon, time will tell if I accomplish this or not! ;)

God be with you all,
Samantha

Sigh... Happy Sigh.

I'm back. Back into the swing of things. Back where I'm meant to be. Learning again, laughing with friends, doing crazy fun things, leading, following. Procrastinating and not. Loving lots.

I love Boise.

It was the worst good-bye of my life, leaving my parents this time. My mommy sobbed in my arms, begging me not to leave. And my daddy cried harder than all the other times combined. It becomes harder when your parents also turn into some of your best friends. But at least the tears show how much our relationship has improved (:

Been super-busy and loving every moment. Went to a Sunday night service at Calvary Chapel, really felt God's presence, it was powerful.

I don't even know, maybe I'll recap more later (: Love you all!
-Samantha

Broken.

Lifehouse-Broken
The broken clock is a comfort, it helps me sleep tonight
Maybe it can stop tomorrow from stealing all my time
I am here still waiting though I still have my doubts
I am damaged at best, like you've already figured out

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain there is healing
In your name I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on
I'm barely holdin' on to you

The broken locks were a warning you got inside my head
I tried my best to be guarded, I'm an open book instead
And I still see your reflection inside of my eyes
That are looking for purpose, they're still looking for life

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain is the healing
In your name I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin')
I'm barely holdin' on to you

I'm hangin' on another day
Just to see what you will throw my way
And I'm hangin' on to the words you say
You said that I will, will be ok

The broken lights on the freeway left me here alone
I may have lost my way now, having forgot my way home

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain, there is healing
In your name, I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin')
I'm barely holdin' on to you
I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), I'm baely holdin' on to you

Confusion.

Just when I think God is beginning to confirm one path in my life, He equally confirms another path too. What's a girl to do?

Apparently, this is so I don't try to take control.
(:

The itch.

I'm feeling quite an itch to crack open my college books and begin reading and preparing for this next semester. I am really excited for my classes. English 102, French 101 (I took three years of French in high school, but didn't retain much :P,) Criminal Justice 101, Sociology 101, and Spiritual Disciplines. My semester is going to be challenging, interesting, and fun.

Sadly, I had to ship my books to my address in Boise instead of my address here, so I have no books to crack open.

A passion and a desire to learn. Motivation to get started. I pray this doesn't leave me once I finally have my books in hand.

Peace.

Salut!

Today was lovely! Even the dentist part went really well. My temporary fake tooth came out really easy so they didn't have to numb me and my permanent fake tooth looks GREAT. So much better than the last one. My gums bled like crazy but other than that it was a quick and easy process.

Then my dad and I went to the store so I could buy stuff to make homemade pizza on Friday and then we went to Arby's for lunch. It was delicious!! :) And really nice to have some one-on-one time with him.

Came home, took a nap, and then I got down to business. My personal retreat day. I have to have at least one personal retreat day a month in order to be on the leadership team for Impact (one of the campus ministries.) And since I have recently been called to the leadership team it was time to have a PRD. I decided to focus on prayer today since my prayer life has been less than fantastic. First though I wrote in my journal for awhile, decided six things I really wanted to focus on during my prayer time and then read chapter one of Ecclesiastes. I really love Ecclesiastes.
Then I began to pray. I prayed a lot for other people that I've been meaning to pray over. I asked God for peace and maybe some answers about my church situation and the summer. I prayed forgiveness, seeking my own from the Lord and giving it to other people. Then I walked around from room to room in my parent's home, banishing satan away and asking Jesus to come into every room, giving him reign over the house. That was probably the most emotional part of my PRD. To wrap it up I worshiped with music, boy do I love singing and dancing for the Lord (:

I do not have any answers yet, but I sure do have a sense of peace. My prayer life has got to improve. There is such a noticeable difference between the anxieties I normally feel throughout the day and the peace that comes after praying earnestly to my Father and seeking His will and love. It such a beautiful thing. I think one of the verses that rings truest in my life these days is Philipians 4:7, "And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
Amen! (:

Yay!! *Sarcasm*

I will be sitting in a dentist's chair in one hour and twenty minutes. He will be ripping out a temporary fake tooth and shoving a new one into mouth.

Joy upon joys.

On the bright side, I get to walk to the dentist's office since it is only a mile and a half or so away. Which means I do not have to hitch a ride from somebody. Being without a car has been one of the most interesting parts of my trip up here.
Back to walking. It's foggy outside, which I love. And today is my Personal Retreat Day so I will be able to spend some sweet time with my Jesus. There's something about walking outside, hand-in-hand with one's Savior that calms the soul.
And a calm before tooth pain is always welcome ;)

Shall update when I return and get some time.

God be with you,
Samantha

Samantha Needs/Wants

Samantha Needs...

• Water
• Air
  
• Food
• Love

in order to survive.


Samantha Wants...

• Creativity to flow from her fingers
  
• Love
• Food
• Water
• Good-byes to not hurt
• To have answers
• To know people deeply
• To be known deeply
• Laughter
• Honesty
• To write a book
• To know the will of her Father for her life
• To follow the will of her Father for her life no matter how challenging
• Others to know and follow the will of God
• People to stop doing things that harm them
• Jesus to come back
• Her parents, other family members, and friends to know the love of God, know Jesus as their Savior and to be saved
• To influence young ladies positively
• To figure out her church issues
• To work at a summer camp either this summer or next
• You to be happy (:

Samantha really loves lists.
Five more days... bittersweet day, here I come!

Beloved.

As she spins in circles colors flash by
As she slows down things begin to take shape
As she stops there are objects everywhere
Separate, distinct objects
Her hand reaches out to touch
Flinching, she pulls back
Sometimes objects can prick, burn, and hurt
So she begins to spin again
Preferring to see mere colors flashing by
Instead of what's really there
-Me
---

The world is a broken place. I came home to friends that waste away their lives drinking and partying. These, by the way, are my "Christian friends."
Do I still love them? Why yes, of course.
Does my heart absolutely BREAK for them? Indeed it does.
It would be so nice to continue spinning, pretending that what is really there is simply a blur, not my problem. But I can't.
Pray, pray, pray.
And yet, how often do I do things that aren't healthy for me? We are all the sinful, lusting, whore of a bride described in Hosea.
But.
As always, there is always hope in the cross, hope pouring from the smiling face of Jesus (: And I'll keep pressing on... joyfully... no matter how sad and destitute circumstances may be. Jesus wins in the end. Jesus wins now in my life. Victory indeed =)
---

Love of my life
Look deep in my eyes
There you will find what you need
Give me your life
Lust and the lies
The past you're afraid I might see
You've been running away from me

You're my beloved
Lover I'm yours
Death shall not part us
It's you I died for
For better or worse
Forever we'll be
Our Love it unites us
It binds you to me
It's a mystery

Love of my life
Look deep in my eyes
There you will find what you need
I'am the giver of life
I'll clothe you in white
My immaculate bride you will be
Oh come running home to me

You're my beloved
Lover I'm yours
Death shall not part us
It's you I died for
For better or worse
Forever we'll be
Our Love it unites us
It binds you to me

Well you've been a mistress, my wife
Chasing lovers it won't satisfy
Won't you let me make you my bride
You will drink of my lips
And you'll taste new life

Cause you're my beloved
Lover I'm yours
Death shall not part us
It's you I died for
For better or worse
Forever we'll be
Our Love it unites us
& it binds you to me

You're my beloved
Forever we'll be
Our love it unites us
And it binds you to me
It's a mystery
It's a mystery
-Beloved by Tenth Avenue North