I am enjoying my late nights.
Perhaps, the only thing I don't like, are the early mornings that follow a late night :-D
But apparently since I'm young, I'm also crazy, and do not need much sleep.
I am enjoying my late nights.
In the course of two days I have had three... Three emotionally draining, completely uplifting, absolutely necessary, life changing talks. With three different people. Apparently, talking to me has become a trend in my life. So, if anyone feels the need to hash it out with me right now, go for it. Seriously, I'm all eyes :D
I haven't had such raw and real conversations with these three people in such a long time (ever for one of them.) It was so refreshing. Refreshing to know that people really do want you to be honest. Refreshing to hear the truth and be okay with whatever the truth is. Refreshing to be able to tell someone about your relationship with God even though that wasn't the initial point of your conversation. Refreshing to talk about anything and everything. Refreshing to be raw and real.
Relationships are so vital. I often think that if I didn't have friends or family I would be fine, because I truly value my alone time. But I'm learning, that when I talk to people and actually talk about my feelings my outlook on life, my relationship with God, my whole disposition is so much better. Apparently, our dear Heavenly Father knew what He was doing when He gave us voice boxes (: (and ears! Ears are good tools to have for that whole conversation thing :-D)
The only thing missing is my best friend :( I've been thinking a lot this week that if it's so hard right now to be apart for a mere seven days, how hard is it going to be when we are hundreds of miles apart? I know our friendship is invaluable and that we will be best friends for life. But I'm truly going to miss being able to walk to her house in 7 minutes. I'm going to miss late night talks under our Creator's beautiful sky. I'm going to miss our monster hugs that make me feel better no matter what I'm going through. I'm going to miss being able to call her and tell her that I need her and her being able to drop everything and be there for me in person in no time flat.
Life is changing, and sometimes I wish I could push a giant pause button. But apparently, I can't.
And yet, I will be running after His heart,
For it only being 9:30 in the morning, this sure has been one crazy day already. Remind me again why I woke up early when I could still be sleeping? :-P
Went running at the booty-crack-of-dawn today with Casey May (really, it wasn't that early, only 7:00, but when you are a teenager on summer vacation, it's EARLY ;)) I got a blister, she got a broken heart :( But I'll let her explain that if she wants to.
Came home, had some coffee and toast and started having my devotions. Which by the way, this would be my third day in a row, go me! I'm usually horrible at keeping a good, steady quiet time. But then I was trying to read in Psalms and the thing that has been bothering me lately (my financial crap that I have to deal with for college and changing around my classes) was distracting me, so I decided to take care of it so I could totally focus on God. I called my mom and asked for her help and we got into because (and here comes the lesson part!!!!)
She told me to call the financial office and figure it out on my own, because she wasn't going to be able to help me with this stuff all the time anymore. (Not quite so bluntly, and in a nicer tone, but I mean basically...)
Momma say what?
And that's when I realized, adulthood is really bearing down upon me. Ew. What happened to the carefree days of mud pies and slip-n-slides? What happened to money growing on trees? What in the world is that checkbook and credit card doing in my wallet? I don't wanna!!!
So in the course of about 5 minutes I went from young Sami to adult Sami. Sick. But alas, I put on my big kid pants and called the office and talked to a very nice lady that explained everything. And I also changed my class schedule around (I'm sooo excited for the classes I have and the schedule I have! :D)
But seriously, this whole on-my-own-thing. It sucks. I want my mommy and daddy to hold my hand forever!!
And then I remember...
God will always be holding my hand, every step of the way (:
I don't know if I've ever had a song in my dream play so vividly. Colbie Caillat's (sp?!) song "Realize" was playing quite prominently in the background of my dream right before I woke up. It was by far, one of these strangest things to ever happen in one of my dreams. Especially since I only hear that song when I'm working. Has anyone else ever incorporated a song into your dream?
Sometimes so much has been going on that it's hard to explain everything in a witty, flowing post, hence the random montage of what-have-yous this post will have.
I think that it is impossible to be friends with a guy that likes you. Even more impossible when you have no choice but to see said guy because he works with you.
Satan's attacks are coming full force. So many people I know are dealing with his attempts to get us off the path of righteousness, myself included. It's been a hard few weeks. And I'm finally overcoming these attacks, but I'm tired. And annoyed. And guilty. And disappointed. And sad. And angry.
At least, I'm finally feeling.
I'm beginning to hate food and the fact that nothing ever sounds good. It's a struggle to eat everyday. And I know this is my way of controlling something in my life, which is obviously no bueno. I need to give that up to God and learn how to turn to Him for everything instead of other worldly things.
I hate the awkward looks he gives me, males are stooooopid.
I love A Walk to Remember it's so beautiful :D
It's heating up!! And I secretly LOVE it, while everyone around me constantly bemoans the 90 and 100 degree weather. I much prefer it to the cold any day!! Plus, summer nights are absolute LOVE!!
Today, this morning, I sat out on my deck with a cup of coffee and then a smoothie spending time in the Word, and it was peaceful... comforting... a breath of air... just what I needed.
I miss all of you very much!!
Casey is going to Texas now, and I'm rather excited because Texas is warmer than Minnesota ;) And I'd love to visit :D Aaaand... God has a plan :D
This Satuday Casey and I are going to spend the night out in my backyard underneath God's amazing sky, I'm so excited!!
Next Saturday I have a wedding to go to for my cousin!! YAY!!! :D I dreamed about that last night as well.
I'm far from spending my summer the way I wanted to :-P Far from spending it the way I should... Bleh.
Now I'm off! To the great adventure of taking a shower and getting ready for the day, wee!!!
I'm definitely having a lazy summer lately.
I work, I read, I hang out with people, I stare at my bedroom and think about how I should clean it. But really, I haven't been doing anything overly productive.
And thus, I haven't had anything really interesting to say.
Miss you all!
Posted by SamanthaMarie at 9:52 AM
I don't think I care anymore.
Leaves fall down from the trees that never had a chance.
The weather was too weird this year, they are barely living.
I'm praying for a dreamless sleep that lasts longer than five hours.
Barely breathing, choked by everything and nothing.
Posted by SamanthaMarie at 12:23 AM
Hello fellow bloggers!
Sooooo. How did orientation go? Overall, it was pretty good (: Learned a lot about the campus, clubs, how to get football tickets (lol), classes, etc. Got to see what my dorm room will be like (tiny, utterly, hopelessly, TINY.) Met a few cool people and have plans to hang out with one of the girls before school even starts. (: There was a guy from Holland and a guy from Florida in my group, pretty cool that BSU is WAY more diverse than my tiny town ;)
But then there was that whole staying up until 4:00 am because about three or four little girls (okay, young women my age :P) and three guys decided to run around the halls screaming and flirting with one another. How thoughtful (: We sure did learn a lot about respect, but apparently not how to utilize it. What a shame...
College will definitely be interesting!!
Thank you for all of your prayers. The drive was good and I had a blast with my mommy (: It was a great four days!!