Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Sometimes I feel like running into a wall...

Not enough to cause any serious damage, but maybe just a concussion that will knock me off my feet for a few days ya know? ;)

And of course, I will never do this. But I miss the days where I could come home from school and RELAX instead of going 55 miles per hour to finish my homework and scholarships and chores before flying off to work for five hours. BLECK.

Being back at school this week is proving so far to be rather torturous. I'm completely ready to graduate now. I just want prom to come, and then graduation. Who needs all that stuff in between anyway? But I know God wouldn't want me to be rushing ahead of Him, so I'm trying to remember that each day is a lesson and a blessing and to take each breath as if it could be my last. (IT'S HARD!)

I bought my laptop for school the other day. It's fairly basic, but will do all that is necessary and it was on sale, yay! :) I got a cute bag to go with it. I feel so "mature" typing on a laptop that I purchased with my own money (albeit, tax money, but it's all the same...) It reminds me so much of the fact I'll be leaving in a few months for COLLEGE :) YAY!

Last night at work, these "gangster" dressed teenagers (about my age actually) came in and bought a safe. I knew one of them, and I know he's into drugs. My manager told me that groups come in like that all the time. They buy these safes to store their big shipments of drugs and then they try to return the safes after they've sold all the drugs. It's truly DISHEARTENING to see people of my generation, kids my age and SO MUCH YOUNGER partying, doing drugs, sleeping around. And then I think about it and realize it's only going to get worse and my heart breaks even more for my own kids. I know it's bigger than me and things have to get even worse before The End, but... it's still sad. Prayer is powerful though and I just have to remind myself of that.

Sorry for the schizophrenic post, I feel like I haven't been on in months as opposed to days. I hope you all have been well!! (: You are in my prayers!!

With His Love,


graffitigirl said...

Your first sentence made me smile because I know the feeling.

You're right that it's sad what other people are doing these days, and then you can think of all the reasons why they would choose to drink or do drugs or sleep around. And they might say it's just to have fun but we know that's not the truth. And lately God's just being giving me the heart to pray for suicidals not just in Canada, or in the States, but everywhere. For God to save a life like that is gonna be a powerful thing, and that's cool!

By the way have you found out who was stealing yet?

Dragonflysoul said...

wow, you have a lot on your plate. i'll pray your strength and endurance.

it is sad to see so many people spiraling into dangerous territory. i used to be in those dangerous party zones myself so i know just how seductive satan is. he makes everything seem fun and innocent and like it's ok because "we're young". i'm so thankful every day that God, for reasons i'll never know, had grace and mercy on me and pulled me out of darkness.

when i think of how many young people every day die in their sins, thinking they have all the time in the world to party and let it all hang out, and planning to get it together later...only later never comes. it breaks my heart. and it could have easily have been me. i don't know why God opened my eyes and gave me the strength to walk away. but i'm so thankful!

it scares me for my (future) kids too, because i want to shelter them from everything in the world, things i've done, things their friends may do.

we def. have to continue to pray. not all are lost and God can do the impossible!

SamanthaMarie said...

@ Dragonfly (Hehe! I'm taking a page from your commenting book, this is easier to remember what you wrote.)

Thank you very much for the prayers. I have to admit I pooped out. With one thing and another this week, I just feel completely exhausted and stayed home today. Now, I feel caught up on sleep and have a chance to work on homework instead of listening to boring teachers, yay!!

I never would have guessed that you were into the party scene. That's amazing and so very cool that God pulled you out of that. Have you ever posted a blog about your testimony? If so, I'd love to read it sometime :)

But you are so right, those kids that think "When I have kids and get married, I'll get right with God/get my act together/figure it all out/etc." well, it's a dangerous way to live. I remember when I was younger I would tell myself that when I was older "I'd go to church and take my family there." Little did I know, God had plans for me to go to church WAY before that time (I can only thank Him furiously for that.)

God can work miracles, I must remember that. All is not lost, we always have hope in our Lord, Jesus Christ.

Dragonflysoul said...

yeah it's probably part physical and part mental exhaustion. when your mind is so full of "to do's", it tends to overwhelm your body - at least for me anyway. it's like, my body goes "you think you're going to do all of THAT, huh? i'll show you..." and then it quits, lol.

yup, i sure was a party girl. sad but true! when i look back on my life and think of some of the things i used to do, i can't believe who God has turned me into now (not that i'm perfected by any means). i don't even recognize myself. no, i haven't posted a full testimony (yet). i've mentioned things here and there scattered throughout other posts, but haven't really spelled everything out in one post. i'll admit that i'm still not comfortable with my past and it frightens me to share it sometimes (yet another thing for God to work on in me)

i'll think about doing so :-)