Monday, May 12, 2008

My Heart's Cry

I'm not sure how many of you know, because I don't remember if I've mentioned it... but within my immediate family I'm the only one that is a follower of Christ.

Tell me what do you believe in
Does your life have rhyme or reason
Something in your heart that makes you care
I hope that you don't mind me asking
But I have got a burning passion
I need to know forever you'll be there

The hardest part of my walk has been the constant struggle in my household. There is a battle between good and evil within my home, a battle for my parents' souls. I've cried so many nights, fearful for their eternity. I know God has a plan, but to know that your very own parents' souls may go to Hell... that's one of the hardest burdens to live with.

I can't make it clearer
Put it any other way
If you can't see the simple truth I do
Then there's nothing in this world that's left to say
But Jesus loves you

I know that God has been working on their hearts. Mere months ago they would make me turn off my Christian music whenever riding in the car with me but lately they will listen to it, yesterday even commenting that they liked what was playing (Krystal Meyers.)

I know I don't have all the answers
And I have wasted many chances
To prove to you a faith that lives inside
I'm praying there will be a breakthrough
Cause I can't be the one to save you
God knows how many times I've tried

The end is coming. I'm not the only one who feels this way. So many of my friends, so many of you, notice the signs, feel the urgency. Every minute that passes is another lost moment that I have to share the GREAT NEWS with my parents. Every day that goes by brings us closer. There have been so many times I've tried to talk to them, so many times I've wanted to talk to them, so many times I've had to walk away...

I can't explain
But I can't deny
So many times for you I've cried
And to see you on your knees tonight

If there is one thing I could see in this lifetime, if I was only destined to save two souls. What I wouldn't give to save the souls of my beautiful, loving, caring parents.

I cant make it clearer
Put it any other way
To know you know simple truth I do
And to know that your forever has been changed
Cause Jesus loves you

So, this is my heart cry. Lost souls. First (and yes selfishly) my parents and then the many people around me that do not know Christ. There is work to be done my fellow brothers and sisters. It's time we step out. Before it's too late. The worst thing I can imagine is coming to the judgment that Jesus will give all of us and having Him be disappointed in what little I accomplished. I must step out for Him. I must be strong. I must be courageous. I have to give my inhibitions to my Father and trust in Him. He can do so much through all of us. Alone, we are useless... helpless. But with the strength, courage, and wisdom of our Father we can do great things.

Philippians 4:13 "I can do all things through him who strengthens me."

Isaiah 51:6 "Lift up your eyes to the heavens, and look at the earth beneath; for the heavens vanish like smoke, the earth will wear out like a garment, and they who dwell in it will die in like manner; but my salvation will be forever and my righteousness will never be dismayed."

Isaiah 52:7 "How beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of him who brings good news, who publishes peace, who brings good news of happiness, who publishes salvation, who says to Zion, 'Your God reigns.'"

In His Love,
Samantha Marie

(Song: "Jesus Loves You" by Stellar Kart)
(Verses are English Standard Version)


CaseyMay said...

I firmly beleive that song is God's promise to you SamanthaMarie, I told you that when I first heard it I thought of you. I will be fighting along side with you in this battle for souls, their souls. I am stepping out with you in complete and total faith. I can't stay here in my comfort zone of complacentcy.

I'm so proud of you for stepping out and have been honored to watch you do just that andlay down this burden at God's feey, yet earnestly fight the enemy with prayer and petition.


~standing on His Promise~

graffitigirl said...

You definitely have not told us that! I'll be praying for them and for you for them for sure (getme?)

Honestly I don't even know what it's like because my whole family knows Jesus, which is sweet and that's the only way I'd want it, but then the other side of it is that I can't really relate to people like you.

PS that's a great song and a cool layout!

graffitigirl said...

I forgot to mention, when I'm finished the claymation project, I will definitely (at least try) to get it up on youtube and then show it here!

Dragonflysoul said...

what a beautiful cry from your heart. i empathize sweetie (a lot of my family, including my father, doesn't know Christ), and i'm SOO proud of you for having that sense of urgency and compassion for your parents souls. it's so easy to focus on our own walk and forget about all the souls that are perishing day by day (i know i'm guilty of this a lot) but you are taking a hold of this thing and giving your inhibitions over to the Lord. it is His desire that all men be saved, and i know He will use you in His perfect time. even the fact that they didn't make you turn off the music you were listening to says A LOT!! the Lord is working in the depths of hearts, even when changes are too small to be noticed by us.

and the fact that you are the only one in that house who knows Christ is proof to me that God is going to use you and show Himself strong. usually, it's the parents who lead the children to Christ. this time, it's going to be the child leading the parents to Christ. and they're watching you, my dear :-) you are an awesome example of the light of Christ, and i'm so glad to know that they have such a committed Christ follower in their midst. it will not return back void!

you all are in my prayers!

Tracy said...

Hi, SamanthaMarie! I feel your urgency. My immediate family are all believers in Jesus. However, those in my husband's family are not. It can be challenging at times, but I can assure you, your parents know that there's something different about you. They may not know exactly what that something is yet {or maybe they do}, but they can see a difference. It's HUGE that they did not ask you to turn off your music.

I'll be praying for you & for opportunities to share God's Word with your parents.


Anonymous said...

Hi Samantha Marie,
My name is Sarah VW- I found your blog through Mackenzie's Blog (Girl's for God). And, I found her blog through her friend Ginger- and i found Ginger's blog through Morgan Denise (we both go to the same Church). So, it's been a long line of blogs to find yours ;-) lol.

Anyway, I just had to write a comment under this post. It brought tears to my eyes reading about how much you long and pray for your parent's salvation. I have personally never felt that way before, as both of my parents are saved, and I cannot imagine the pain you suffer- but I do know this: The Lord Jesus Christ knows. He knows the trials and hardships you are going through. Trust in HIM, Lean on HIM, even when you have no strength to stand. When you feel you are going under, hold tighter to His Hand!

I will be praying for you, and you parent's salvation.

Love in Christ,
Sarah VW