Thursday, September 4, 2008

Take My Heart and Please Break it.

The sun was shining as I walked toward my dorm. The birds were chirping, the grass was green with moisture, the air was crisp yet warm, people were riding their bikes; the world was spinning around me.

The world seemed perfect and I was the awkward depressed girl. I hate how I can have everything going so well, I can be so happy, and then at the drop of a hat I'm beyond sad and in a giant gaping hole.

I feel like I'm missing something. I know that God is the only one who can fill any void that I have, so I went on a walk with Him... actually I call it more of a date. I get dinner, walk a ways, sit down in the park, eat with Him, continue walking, read His word, pray, be still, know He is God. I've done this twice, same day of the past two weeks. I think God really wants my attention. I just don't know, I just feel blah.

But there is Hope, there is Light, there is Truth. And I will run after His heart.


Dragonflysoul said...

i know the feeling. i was just talking to Tracy about that. how one minute you're joyful, the next sorrowful.

i'm so sorry you're feeling blah and sad right now. sending you hugs and kisses and prayers! i'm glad you're taking the time to walk, talk and dine with Him. it will help :-)

needing God to "break" our hearts is essential. it's just so hard to get there...

thinking of you!

Stepheny Weaver said...

Dearest Samantha,

I am sorry to hear that you are down right now! I have been praying for you! I know that you will follow the Lord. And don't worry, he will lead you and tell you where he wants you in his own perfect timing! :)

Love, steph

graffitigirl said...

Can I ask if something else is really on you're mind, or is simply a mood?

Grl4God said...

I'm so happy that you're listening to what your heart is telling you. Go with it. God is telling you something, listen :)


CaseyMay said...

I am so proud of you for listening to Jesus. Keep it up, don't give up.

I love you and am so proud of you.

Paige said...

Samantha, you are not the only one who has those moments. I have been having them alot lately, too. Maybe it's catchy?!?!? :)
I think your 'dates' with God are like my rides with Him. Lately, I've come to realize how much I really need Him. Trying to do ANYTHING without Him, just doesn't work. I'm am trying to come closer, but I sometimes feel like I am being pulled away. He always pulls a little harder, though, and I feel safe again.
I am glad you have found your time with Him. I am glad we both have.