Monday, September 15, 2008

Breathe.

Did you know that when you turn off the noise, an amazing peace can occur. For three or so hours I turned off my phone, walked away from my computer, got dinner and went on a date with Jesus. Do you even understand how freeing it was to finally not have the distraction of my cell phone? The one mechanism I am attached to more than anything else? The one technological advance that can really distract me from my Heavenly Father? It was amazing. So much so, that I still haven't turned it back on. The only reason I'm on my computer is because I had homework and just wanted to share the peace, relief, joyfulness I felt when I turned off the noise and distractions and tuned into what God had to say to me.

The difference is amazing.

I am more at peace now with my situation than I have been since I got here. I renewed some vows, made some new ones, figured out priorities, and have a new heart for school. For once, I don't feel disgruntled. I don't feel like something is missing. I don't feel as though I have a need that must be filled. I'm just, content. I'm not yearning for the future, I'm happy to be right here, right now. I'm not yearning for a boy to sweep me off my feet, because Jesus is the only Man I need. I'm not yearning to be touched, because my Father holds me when I sleep, and takes my hand throughout the day. I'm not worried about any homework, any tests that are coming up, or anything else concerning school because I'm going to make it a priority (what else am I really spending money on) and do my best. I'm not concerned about which school I'm going to transfer to, or what career I'm going to have because God will reveal it to me in His good time. And I'm not concerned about any of my relationships with friends or family or even God anymore. I'm cutting myself some slack, God has already forgiven me for not putting Him first, and so now... bit by bit, I'm going to make Him my first priority and everyone else will be secondary.

As I was walking along the river observing the people around me, the scenery, breathtaking creation I came upon a father/daughter pair. The dad was maybe 25 or so and the young girl was probably about five. It was truly a precious sight. They each had a vanilla ice cream cone and the father was staring at his daughter with complete adoration, hanging onto every word she was saying. I smile now, even more than I did then, because I think of how my relationship can and is this way with God. He was with me in the park, walking by my side, hanging onto my every thought, staring at me with adoration.

Jesus LOVES me. The greatest love of all. The most amazing love. The truest love. The most perfect love. Everlasting, divine love. The only love I will always have for eternity. How great is that? Oh I feel like dancing, singing, shouting, running. That kind of love can move mountains. But before I get to the stage in my life where God can use me to move those mountains, I'm content where I am. He is changing my heart, cleaning out any unrighteous thing in me, and revealing the desires of my heart. I AM running after His heart, even when I think I'm completely dense and stunted. He never lets me stop.

running the good race toward His heart,
Samantha Marie

10 comments:

CaseyMay said...

There's really no words to follow that my beautiful bestie, I sit here at my desk trying to engage my brain in the last minute before work officially starts and your heart has warmed mine. I am excited to talk to you and this explains why you didn't answer your phone last night and that's ok :) because Jesus comes first ALWAYS. I will talk to you soon my love.
I LOVE YOUR FACE ON AND OFF LIKE A LIGHT SWITCH!

Stepheny Weaver said...

My Dear Friend,

I am so glad that you finally had some time with Jesus! :) I have been praying for you these past weeks, hoping that God will show you what he wants soon! :)

Keep following Jesus!

Steph
p.s.I have a quiz thingy on my blog- even if you don't know the answers, please try and guess!

åslaug said...

You make my heart cry. And my eyes are soon to follow. But it's the good kind of weeping; that in the arms of your lover and Heavenly father. Oh, I love Him so. And I am so encouraged by Your love for Him. So encouraged about the father and daughter in the park, by your words of your Heavenly Father holding you while you are asleep and your hand through the day. I am so blessed through your testimony, and I'm sure God will also bless others through it. You put into words all the thoughts I often have after spending quality time with my Lord; all the words I wish would be shouted out to this longing, desperate, hurting world. Words of peace and contentment and *how* this contentment is and comes.

God bless you and keep you and sweep you off your feet. You belong to Him, as I do, and I am eternally grateful, both on yours and mine behalf.

Your sister in Christ,
åslaug

Grl4God said...

Sounds like a GREAT date!

Grl4God

Dragonflysoul said...

what a beautiful date :-) this was so calming and sweet to read. Our Father's love just...makes me speechless sometimes.

thinking of you boo :-)

graffitigirl said...

Hey Sam! We haven't really had any real talks in a while. And I miss that. (How are you doing?)

This was really great to read. I love that you're spending time with Jesus like that. I wish I did that kind of thing more often. I don't have cell, and sometimes I wish I did. But are there also benefits to not having them too.

Sounds like you're keeping your love for Jesus which is what I like to hear! (obviously) Content enough without the other boys to maybe not get married? Maybe not, but it's there a verse somewhere that says something like those who can accept this [not getting married] should? Just wondering.

Paige said...

Samantha, I am so happy to hear that you are doing better. I have spent the last few minutes reading you last few posts (and leaving comments). As I read each one, I could not help but feel as though you and I were going through the same thing, though perhaps in different surroundings. Maybe that is it, though. Maybe God is doing great work in our lives and pulling us closer to Him. It is funny to think that I met you only a few months ago, and yet now I find we are going through so much of the same thing. The things we once thought were absolutely necessary aren't becoming all that important and the truly important desires of our heart have become more apparent. I am so glad that I have y'all to share this with as well. Talk to you later!

stepheny weaver said...

Samantha-

WE haven't heard from ya in a while.... you must be busy! :) I hope that everything is going well and that you have found what yopu were looking for!

Steph

Dragonflysoul said...

*kisses*

i pray all is good in the neighborhood :-)

you're in my thoughts.

Stepheny Weaver said...

Hope you are well Dear Samantha!