A mix of emotions.

Tears rolled down my cheeks as I said yet another good-bye to my mom on the phone. I stared around my tiny dorm room, my new home and almost lost it. Looking out the window I saw families walking around together. Students that still had their mommy and daddy with them. I thought about how I had to say goodbye days ago, and move myself in with only the help and support of Meghan, a very new friend. What an emotionally and physically taxing day.

"Is it all worth it?" I wondered to myself. Taking a deep breath I packed an overnight bag so I could return to my aunt's house to house-sit for one more night. Feeling guilty and anxious about what I would miss out on that night, it was with some trepidation I locked my room and began the 5 minute trek to my car. Relief began to flow from my body with each step closer to my car. Steps that would take me to a safe place, and a safe place that would take me to a house I can call home.

The drive was peaceful. The sun was setting over the Treasure Valley. As I looked up and in front of me I was reminded of how God is so completely in control. He has a plan for me to be here. He has hands that are guiding my every step. He has love that will fill up any hole that needs repair. My God, is a great, big, loving, perfect God. And as I observed the bustle of my new home, my beautiful city, I smiled, a truly joyful smile.

It is indeed all worth it.

And there were lessons learned.

For it only being 9:30 in the morning, this sure has been one crazy day already. Remind me again why I woke up early when I could still be sleeping? :-P

Went running at the booty-crack-of-dawn today with Casey May (really, it wasn't that early, only 7:00, but when you are a teenager on summer vacation, it's EARLY ;)) I got a blister, she got a broken heart :( But I'll let her explain that if she wants to.

Came home, had some coffee and toast and started having my devotions. Which by the way, this would be my third day in a row, go me! I'm usually horrible at keeping a good, steady quiet time. But then I was trying to read in Psalms and the thing that has been bothering me lately (my financial crap that I have to deal with for college and changing around my classes) was distracting me, so I decided to take care of it so I could totally focus on God. I called my mom and asked for her help and we got into because (and here comes the lesson part!!!!)

She told me to call the financial office and figure it out on my own, because she wasn't going to be able to help me with this stuff all the time anymore. (Not quite so bluntly, and in a nicer tone, but I mean basically...)
Momma say what?

And that's when I realized, adulthood is really bearing down upon me. Ew. What happened to the carefree days of mud pies and slip-n-slides? What happened to money growing on trees? What in the world is that checkbook and credit card doing in my wallet? I don't wanna!!!

So in the course of about 5 minutes I went from young Sami to adult Sami. Sick. But alas, I put on my big kid pants and called the office and talked to a very nice lady that explained everything. And I also changed my class schedule around (I'm sooo excited for the classes I have and the schedule I have! :D)

But seriously, this whole on-my-own-thing. It sucks. I want my mommy and daddy to hold my hand forever!!

And then I remember...
God will always be holding my hand, every step of the way (:

Running After HIS Heart,
Samantha Marie

Becoming a Godly Woman (oh boy!)

Lately it has been on my heart to become more of a Godly woman. It's not that I'm a horrible person compared with the world's standards, but when compared with God's standards? I could use a little help (yes, that's an understatement.) Thus, I've been watching more carefully what I wear, I've been trying to help out around the house, and I've been trying to watch the words that I say. I want my words to be edifying to the body of Christ and also non-believers. There is obviously SO MUCH MORE to being a Godly woman, but Rome wasn't built in a day.

Today I worked on helping out around the house more. I'm not feeling too well today, stemming from not feeling so well yesterday, but I managed to get out of bed long enough to assist my mommy in cleaning the windows in the house. Afterward I did some laundry and did the dishes. And then I ran to the grocery store to pick up some food for dinner. I actually FELT better. Who would have thought that such small tasks would make such a big difference physically and spiritually? As I was washing the windows I kept thinking about the house that I would one day be washing windows in. And my heart was filled with desire.

As followers of Christ we have higher expectations, higher standards. We should have bigger dreams and goals too. God can do sooo much with us if we just let Him take control. If He can turn my lazy bum into a daughter that actually HELPS around the house, He can do anything. Honestly. Our God, is an awesome God. And I know I say that a lot, but oh thank ya Jesus, it's soooo true!!

P.S. We had our first BBQ of the season, YUMMMMMMMY :D