A taste of Heaven

I'm sure I'm not the only one who ever day dreams about Heaven and what it will be like when we are all together, am I right? That being said, I think I caught a glimpse the other night.

This past weekend I went out and spent the night at my cousin, Grace's, house. I typically have a blast whenever I go out there. She was the sister I never had when I was younger. We grew up together as much as we could and when we weren't together we were on the phone creating the best memories. Her parents, my aunt and uncle, were the ones that got me my first Bible and took me to Church for my first time (and my second, third, fourth, fifth, etc. ;)) Their oldest boy, Erik, was the one who baptized me last summer, anytime I see Daniel walk into Staples my day at work is tremendously better, and Kevin (paralyzed from the neck down but way better off than most paralysis patients), he teaches all of us what true faith in God is like. Then there is their oldest, beautiful child Jen, married and living happily in Minnesota. She never fails to send me cards on important occasions filled with encouragement. So, to say this family is special to me, would be an understatement.

There was a moment, when we were all gathered in the family room, watching an old western movie and making fun of it (come on, they're funnnny!) when I understood what true contentment and fellowship is like. To be sitting and doing really nothing special, but to be so happy... that's beautiful. The only thing missing from the picture was our Lord and Saviour, but really, He was there in spirit.

I yearn for Heaven with my dear family. I yearn for Heaven with all of you. And I deeply yearn, with all of my heart and soul and body, for Heaven with my King.

And yet, as always, I know there is work yet to be done on this earth. Therefore, I shall continue being content with my tastes of Heaven, God will give me enough to sustain me =)

Let Go

So life has been crazy, as you well know. But I have a feeling it's going to slow down. At least enough to where I can be on here long enough to read and comment your blogs and maybe write a few of my own. ;-)

I've been pretty down in the dumps lately (as you may have gaged from Casey's blog) and confused about a lot of aspects of life. Some, I don't really care to talk about as I'm still coming to terms with it all.

Then there is this whole summer of limbo. I'm no longer in high school... but not yet in college. I'm just here. Waiting to say good-bye to friends, praying that I will meet new friends in college. Waiting to say good-bye to my family while trying to enjoy every minute I do have with them. Trying to spend time with people that matter most, while not shunning the rest of my friends.

It's an odd and unattainable balancing act. As soon as I think I have a handle on one thing I drop something else that I'm juggling and it shatters around my feet. Then, not only am I juggling 85 different things, I also have to tip-toe around all the shattered things on the ground. I seem to be making a mess of my life. But I'm beginning to realize I just need to give it all to God, stop being such a control-freak, realize that I am His child and He will clean up my mess and help me learn my lesson if I just relinquish whatever control I think I have.

To say the least, I do believe this will be a summer of growth and change if I just open my mind and heart and soul to God. Most importantly...
I need to
LET GO.

Thursday ;)

Thursday was the end. The last day of school. The last day of high school. The last day of public schooling. The last day I wouldn't have to pay a penny for my education. The last time I would walk the halls of my beloved high school as a student. The last time I would venture into that world as a student to my teachers. From now on, during visits, I will refer to them on a first-name basis... awkward (maybe I just will always call them Mrs. Yarno, Mrs. Snider, etc. :))

I woke up, with not much anticipation. I did not feel different. I wasn't overly excited. I just was. I was happy to be done with school (although it felt like just another year under the belt.) I was excited that I didn't have any tests. I was excited for graduation practice. But other than that... life wasn't much different.
While making my breakfast I was treated to my annual end-of-year-note from my loving father. Telling me how proud my mom and he are of me. He also gave me five dollars for a coffee, what a lovely man :-)
Drove to school and floated through first hour. But then second hour arrived and by the end I was an utter mess. My second hour teacher is like my mom. I have been through a lot with her. We have fought like mother and daughter, gone to dinner like mother and daughter, laughed, cried, and shared with one another for the past three years. She gave me a bracelet that I will always cherish and I will continue to keep in touch with that lovely woman. Then, I continued on to third hour and floated through that.
After third hour was the Senior barbecue. But Rebecca and I decided to be rebels and skip out :) We went to Mandarin Pine instead and had yummy egg rolls, fried rice, chow mein, and almond chicken. Way better than burgers :D Plus, it gave us time to ponder our last day, think about the past year, and wonder about what was to come. I began the school year with her, and ended it with her, it was fitting.

Then came the ever traumatic graduation ceremony practice. First, I need to explain five things.
1.) My high school has a tradition of allowing you to walk with whomever you want instead of coming in alphabetically. You can only walk up to four people in a group.
2.) David is my best guy friend and we had planned on walking with Heather and Rebecca.
3.) Heather is not really a friend of mine anymore... but she didn't have anyone else to walk with, so we let her walk with us.
4.) Jeffrey is Rebecca's best guy friend and didn't really have anyone to walk with.
5.) I've been having problems with David lately, and on Thursday he said that if his friend Marina didn't have anyone to walk with he was going to walk with her. (Which upset me.)

So, we get to the venue and we are told to get in our groups. Everyone is pretty much standing there looking at everyone else, trying to figure out who was going to be kicked out of the group. So I made a snap decision, told David to walk with Marina and her group and then Jeff could walk with us. I instantly regretted my decision and spent the whole practice upset that I was walking with Heather who I don't even particularly care for instead of David my best friend. I am a poopy person for so many reasons. But I gave it all to God, got over myself, and was able to be happy with my group in the end.

I got my hair cut Thursday, it was nice (:
My grandparents came into town! I absolutely LOVE them. We went out to dinner. Ate at Applebee's, had a lovely time visiting and catching up.

And that was pretty much the sum of Thursday.

What I learned from that day...
1.) High school is not really the end, but merely a beginning. On the horizon are so many opportunities, so many places yet untraveled, so many lives yet to be met, so many experiences yet to be had. So, if you ask me if I'm sad, I have this to say. Not really, because I know there is so much more to come and for that I'm joyful. I can look back on my high school years, proud of my growth and happy about the friends I made, but the past is the past and I need to live in the present :)
2.) Sometimes life will not go the way *I* had planned. I need to learn to get over that. I also need to realize that my attitude and how I react to things affects the people around me, so I need to be careful, especially as a representative of Christ.
3.) I love my grandparents =)

My Heart's Cry

I'm not sure how many of you know, because I don't remember if I've mentioned it... but within my immediate family I'm the only one that is a follower of Christ.

Tell me what do you believe in
Does your life have rhyme or reason
Something in your heart that makes you care
I hope that you don't mind me asking
But I have got a burning passion
I need to know forever you'll be there

The hardest part of my walk has been the constant struggle in my household. There is a battle between good and evil within my home, a battle for my parents' souls. I've cried so many nights, fearful for their eternity. I know God has a plan, but to know that your very own parents' souls may go to Hell... that's one of the hardest burdens to live with.

I can't make it clearer
Put it any other way
If you can't see the simple truth I do
Then there's nothing in this world that's left to say
But Jesus loves you

I know that God has been working on their hearts. Mere months ago they would make me turn off my Christian music whenever riding in the car with me but lately they will listen to it, yesterday even commenting that they liked what was playing (Krystal Meyers.)

I know I don't have all the answers
And I have wasted many chances
To prove to you a faith that lives inside
I'm praying there will be a breakthrough
Cause I can't be the one to save you
God knows how many times I've tried

The end is coming. I'm not the only one who feels this way. So many of my friends, so many of you, notice the signs, feel the urgency. Every minute that passes is another lost moment that I have to share the GREAT NEWS with my parents. Every day that goes by brings us closer. There have been so many times I've tried to talk to them, so many times I've wanted to talk to them, so many times I've had to walk away...

I can't explain
But I can't deny
So many times for you I've cried
And to see you on your knees tonight

If there is one thing I could see in this lifetime, if I was only destined to save two souls. What I wouldn't give to save the souls of my beautiful, loving, caring parents.

I cant make it clearer
Put it any other way
To know you know simple truth I do
And to know that your forever has been changed
Cause Jesus loves you

So, this is my heart cry. Lost souls. First (and yes selfishly) my parents and then the many people around me that do not know Christ. There is work to be done my fellow brothers and sisters. It's time we step out. Before it's too late. The worst thing I can imagine is coming to the judgment that Jesus will give all of us and having Him be disappointed in what little I accomplished. I must step out for Him. I must be strong. I must be courageous. I have to give my inhibitions to my Father and trust in Him. He can do so much through all of us. Alone, we are useless... helpless. But with the strength, courage, and wisdom of our Father we can do great things.

Philippians 4:13 "I can do all things through him who strengthens me."

Isaiah 51:6 "Lift up your eyes to the heavens, and look at the earth beneath; for the heavens vanish like smoke, the earth will wear out like a garment, and they who dwell in it will die in like manner; but my salvation will be forever and my righteousness will never be dismayed."

Isaiah 52:7 "How beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of him who brings good news, who publishes peace, who brings good news of happiness, who publishes salvation, who says to Zion, 'Your God reigns.'"

In His Love,
Samantha Marie

(Song: "Jesus Loves You" by Stellar Kart)
(Verses are English Standard Version)

Tra-la-la!

Hey friends :D

This past weekend was fantastic. I had a lot of fun, and the best part is I didn't even do much! Friday night I worked until 9:00 but my friend Rebecca visited me and we decided to go on a walk after work.


We passed a fire hydrant and just had to take a picture with it!! ;)

We ended up walking to a store a mile or two away from my house and then ended up calling a friend to pick us up. I had shin splits from running Wednesday night and thus was in pain. It was fun and we talked a lot about the future and college. It's good to know somebody is in the same boat as you are and is experiencing the same emotions.

Saturday I worked the morning shift and had a fantastic time. I love my job, I wish I could take it with me when I move... anyway.

I got home and did a few chores then my bestie CaseyMay came over so we could start our sleep-over fun! :D We talked a LOT, cooked dinner, set up her new and amazing blog!, went and had milkshakes, laughed a ton (so much tears came out of our eyes), had silly discussions, serious discussions, and I just felt so blessed.



These past two nights showed me what true friendships are. They don't have drama. They don't have to be drunk. They don't have to talk about things of the world. True friendships are the ones where you can pray with your best friend before bed. True friendships are taking goofy pictures. True friendships are all about discovering new things, good and bad, and loving each other just the same if not more. A true friend will laugh with you, even at random nonsense such as popping out of a cow to surprise your parents (don't ask.) And a true friend asks you how you are... hears your fears and your hurts. And listens and loves.

I'm beyond blessed for my life- my friends, ma familia, and my past, present, and future. I praise and thank God for all that I have.

Oh and most importantly... Happy Mother's Day to my amazing mother. I love you dearly!!

Update.

Setting: A small city in Idaho. The weather is dull. Rainy. And when it isn't raining it's cloudy. And it if isn't cloudy, it's cold. Are we aware that it's April?

Characters: God, Samantha Marie, Daddy & Mommy, Casey (best friend), Rebecca (best friend), David (best friend and date to prom), Michael (friend), Jaymi (friend that doesn't live here), dream boy (I'll explain later), and work people.


Premise: An average girl, with an ABOVE-average Father. She leans on Him for all understanding (sometimes, well often, failing but He always picks her back up off the floor.) Trying to make it through her last month of high school, Samantha is going crazy. She has finals to study for, prom plans to make, family and friends that want to spend time with her, and all she desires to do is spend time in the presence of God and read and write. Senioritis at its best. Will she get those graduation announcements finished? Will prom be a super-fun night? Will work pay the bills? Will she remember to always put God first?

Conflict: She feels stressed out with all that must be accomplished. She needs to prioritize but is feeling abundantly lazy. With all that she has going on, her flesh is pulling her in the direction of this boy that has come into her place of work twice and that she has seen at his place of work one time. She has even dreamed about the boy (hence "dream boy"). She doesn't want to think about him, because he's only a distraction. (Did she mention that she doesn't even know his name?)

Resolution: Stay tuned to find out what happens!!

Life is... beautiful (:

Every day life is a bit more amazing. Every day, the gifts I unwrap become more spectacular. Every day, God is closing my eyes and opening my heart.

It's true what they say; it's better to give than to receive Today I gave one of my best friends a spiritual birthday party She's five years old in Christ. I got her balloons, a card, took her out to dinner and a movie. And it was lovely. The smile on her face was fantastic. That's the best gift I've gotten in a long time (-:
Tonight I danced with my dad to a song that was on Footloose. It was fun and there were tears in his eyes. My time here in this house is waning, I need to remember no matter how excited I am about college; I will be leaving my parents behind and that hurts them (let alone me.)

I want to dance, breathe, touch hearts, smile, laugh until I cry, move mountains, be broken, work hard, spread the love of Jesus Christ, and live life for God. My way is not of the world, but dang it, it's the best life!

I'm happy

Today, was absolutely GORGEOUS, we had perfect weather. There wasn't a cloud in the sky all day. The temperature was a warm 75 degrees. God's creation was breathtaking to me today, not that it isn't always... but the beauty of a sunny, warm day speaks to my soul. The picture is the sky I see from my backyard as the sun sets. I completely forgot to take a picture of the beauty of mid-day, but that can be rectified tomorrow when we have the SAME weather!! (My soul is squealing with excitement.)

Today was rather productive. I finished one of my scholarship applications and got the rest in order so that I can finish them up later tonight or tomorrow. I bought my graduation dress at JC Penney's, it's super adorable :) I might take a picture and put it up later, or I might just wait until graduation day so you will get the full effect of my excited face :D I also went to Christian Gift and bought A Young Woman's Call to Prayer, because I definitely need to focus more on my prayer life and I bought God's Story (ESV), it's a version of the Bible in English Standard which is supposed to be really close to a word for word translation, even more so than KJV... at least that's what the guide to all the translations said :)

The rest, as they say, is history. I spent my afternoon doing some reading for English, hung out with my parents in the backyard, read some blogs, and plan on spending some major time with God after I finish up this post! :) I truly do love my life. I am beyond blessed.

-Samantha