My week.

This week has been an interesting one. It's been the laziest, most productive week. Spiritually dead and spiritually alive. Moving no where, going backward, dancing forward. Freezing cold and quite warm. Doubts and assurances. A defining moment was when I woke up Wednesday and said to myself "It's already Wednesday." When the previous night I had gone to bed and thought to myself, "It's only Tuesday." Definitely a week of oxymoron's.

It was beautiful, painful, insightful. A growing week. I've been learning I'm not so independent. Not so certain about where I'm going. Not so certain about God's calling on my life. Not so certain about how horrible things are. Not so certain about how wonderful things are.

Life is meant to be reflected upon, if we rush through it we'll miss the mystery and majesty of God's creation.

I practice Lent every year (well for the past three years and this one) and this year I decided to do Ash Wednesday the way Catholics do it. I fasted that day and went to Catholic Mass. It was absolutely beautiful. I know that it can be tough for some to understand the rituals, even I had a bad preconceived notion about what I was getting myself into. I'm so glad I went, I truly enjoyed it and walked away knowing that God's presence had been there.

The Catholic church is rich with history. It was the church for 100s of years. I know that this doesn't mean it hasn't had its share of scandals, hurts, theological mishaps, etc. but what church doesn't have these problems? For me, to be sitting, standing, and kneeling at the right time, to be saying the words at the right time, to be bowing and praying at the right time, it was peaceful. It was a joy to think of the millions of others who had/were/will partake in a mass similar to the one I was enjoying. It was a privilege to be part of a service filled with so much history, tradition, and love. I can't put to words the beauty of that service. I felt whole and one with God.

And so I received the ashes upon my head and let the words flow around me, "Remember o woman, you are but dust, and to dust you shall return." I was reminded how very small I am in this expansive universe, and I was so very thankful for my life and for my Savior. God did not have to create me, but He did. My Father did not need me, but He breathed life into me anyway. He does not need my presence in Heaven, but He sent His Son to die for me. This is solemnly exciting. And as I continue these next forty days of Lent I look forward to learning more about the Creator, and the love that sent a Son... a beautiful, perfect, whole Son, down to this earth to die for me, you, and billions of others.

Truly, whether Catholic, Protestant, Lutheran, Baptist, Non-Denominational, I think we can all agree this Lent season is about Jesus, and that's something we can cherish.

Much more happened this week, but I think the power of Wednesday was the highlight, so I'll leave you with that little morsel of a bigger meal :)

Blessings and Love,

So it turns out...

It turns out that I skipped that whole freakishly upset part (see post two below.) Right now, I'm perfectly happy and content. I have had a few moments where I get sad and I've cried twice, but really... I'm not overly emotional. I don't know if that's because I'm in denial, or if I'm really okay, but it sure is nice not to be a complete wreck.

I'm absolutely loving Boise. Been hanging out with my auntie and my older cousin Chris and his girlfriend Ash and their baby boy Braydon (he's soo cute!) Plus, the friend I made when I came down for orientation, we got together today and had fun (: So perhaps keeping busy helps.

Tomorrow I move into my dorm and Meghan (above friend) is going to help me. What an exciting time! But also nervewracking. With God, anything and everything is possible and okay lol.

I went to a Church all by myself on Sunday (yes I am a big kid now.) It was nice, but weird to be shopping for a church to call home. I won't be able to church hop down here, I'll need to find one really good one that feels right. What a daunting task. But the Lord will lead me to where He wants me to be. And it will be sooo nice to finally have a Church family. I've never known what that is like.

I pray you all have been well! I miss you guys but you are in my daily thoughts and prayers.

Running after His Heart,
Samantha Marie

Trip Review and other randomosity.

Well, I got back from Boise two days ago. It was a WHOLE lot of fun. I love getting away from the valley and experiencing something else for awhile. Plus, in about four months I'll be living in Boise, so it was nice to get even more experience driving around there and figuring out where things are.

My lovely best friend, Rebecca, and our other close friend, Heather left about 10:00 in the morning. We listened to some good music on the way down there including a newer band, Cadia, I recommend them if you haven't yet had a chance to listen :-) We stopped in McCall for lunch and ended up in Boise about 4:30 there time. Had dinner at Red Robin that night, it was delicious. I chatted with my auntie Janice until 11:00 (we were staying at her house) and then fell dead asleep, driving really does take energy, I promise! :-)

Saturday we got up and drove to Kohl's. The girlies found a couple of things to buy, then we went to Maurice's and I found a cute shirt. Then it was on to the mall! One reason we went down there was so Heather and I could find our prom dresses, and we did!! :) Mine is an olivey green color, it's REALLY pretty. After prom (which is May 3rd) I will post a picture of all of us so you can see all three of our pretty dresses :) After shopping for about... five hours we went back to my aunt's house and watched Enchanted. Oh my goodness! I love that movie. It's such a happy, feel good movie!! We also watched The Hills. It's one of Rebecca's favorite shows. It completely SHOCKS me how they live their life. We were having conversations through-out the whole series about how they look so unhappy, even when they are smiling. I think praying for them would be a good thing for me to do... I can't be the one to tell them about the love of Christ, but I CAN be someone that prays that someone will tell them.

Sunday we went to the church I might end up going to when I move. It's Calvary Chapel and it's pretty big (at least for a girl whose biggest church service has been 250 some people) I'm really praying hard about going to the church that God wants me to be, I've never had a church home and would love to have one while at college. The rest of the day we spent chatting, watching movies, and doing homework. (Yes, the evil teachers gave us homework! How rude ;) hehe!) We have so many weird random inside jokes. I love that! We took some really goofy pictures and I just may post a few once I get them uploaded!

Monday we did even MORE shopping. First we went downtown and I drove them past BSU's campus and then we found a parking spot and did a whole lot of window shopping. Shops downtown are EX-PEN-SIVE! We ended up going back to the mall so we could find matching graduation shoes and found the perfect pair for all three of us at JC Penney's :) They are white, with a small heel, very cute. Now the three of us will have matching shoes and lei's! I'm very excited for graduation!

Tuesday we came home and I was exhausted by the time I crawled into my very own bed. I'm so thankful we got to go and that God kept us safe the whole time. That drive can be pretty dangerous, plus it was in the lower 30s all while we were down there and so the roads were questionable, but our Father took care of us :) I started to get sick AGAIN, but I slept a lot and I feel completely better today, I think I was just fatigued.

Went back to work last night. It was actually not too bad. I was thinking I would dread it the whole day and then have a bad attitude, but I spent time in prayer and praise and God changed my attitude to one of Jesus :) I love how going to God with our problems can make things... better, not perfect, but He just fills us up with His love and we can continue facing everything. It's truly refreshing. Prayer is so powerful, I'm learning that more and more. Work was interesting in that the person who stole still hasn't been caught so we all have our privileges taken away, it makes the job kind of difficult. I just gotta keep praying for resolution and for the person who did it.

Sorry if you read that whole entry. It was kind of more for my memory than anything else, but if you did read this whole thing then thank you for your time! :-) Now tell me, how have you all been?!!